“My biggest remaining goal is to be a mother.” “I grew up outside of Miami. It wasn’t easy to be young, black, and gay in my neighborhood. It was a very masculine space. All the guys played basketball or football. They wore oversize clothes. There was a clearly defined idea of what it meant to be a man. And I spent a lot of energy trying to meet that standard. I didn’t like sports but I played anyway. If I ever got bullied for acting feminine, or hanging out with girls, I’d take it to the extreme and insist on fighting. The black man is expected to be a rock. I think it comes from our history. We were abused for so long, I think there’s a resistance to ever being vulnerable again.” “At some point in every relationship, it’s hard to not feel like your partner saved your life.” “I feel like I’m just starting, but I think I’d be fine if it all went away. I get that from my mother. From the moment I started singing, she always reminded me that all of this was a privilege, and could be taken at any moment. So it’s not how I define myself. I try to keep my identity rooted in my friendships and my faith.” “It’s the best thing that ever happened to us. But having a child is constant company with terrible conversation.” “She has so much courage. Every fucking day. No matter what she’s facing, she will never burden anyone else with it.” “He’s so sexy. And he taught me the importance of being silly.” “Being silly is so important. Silly is the opposite of grief. It’s throwing yourself into a moment without care. You can’t always maintain your status as a dignified person. It gives you blinders. When you always expect the world to fulfill your expectations, it wears you down. It closes you off.” “So sexy.” “She has the biggest heart. Everyone sees her success as an athlete, but all of that is layered on the size of her heart. She gives 100 percent of herself to everything she does: as a friend, as a lover, and soon, as a mother.”