What to Do in London When It Pours

On the heels of one of the hottest English summers on record, droves of tourists slicked in sunscreen arrived in London last week to discover that we have returned to our usual programming. Airplanes carved through lakes on the runways at Heathrow, sodden espadrilles were found abandoned on pavements, and our crunchy, biscuit-colored parks began to go green again. From a birds-nest hotel room in Mayfair, a visiting girlfriend reported that the rain had become so torrential that even the views from her windows were opaque. I sent her a draft of this article, written under blazing sunshine in anticipation of the inevitable. If my trip were rained out, I told her, here’s what I would do.

Have a Bespoke Umbrella Made
The upside of perpetual damp is unparalleled expertise. Umbrella makers are all around in London, but none are as atmospheric as Swaine Adeney Brigg, squeezed into an arcade off of Piccadilly near the rococo shop windows at Fortnum & Mason. First your measurements will be taken (head to toe, wrist to ground), before you are led in front of a mirror to clasp brolly after brolly, holding them aloft like Mary Poppins in flight, until the shop floor is covered with open black canopies and the optimal height and diameter of your umbrella has been ascertained. Then you’ll run your hands over the different types of wood to choose your handle. There’s everything from smooth, pale cherry to whangee, a type of bamboo, to a birch travel type that unscrews into two pieces (for an easier fit in a suitcase) and a Malacca cane version with a concealed drinking flask in the shaft. Ladies’ umbrellas are more delicately proportioned than those made for men. The smaller size looks like something between an umbrella and a parasol, and is designed to hang comfortably on a forearm rather than rap the ground like a walking stick. Once you have decided on a canopy color (jaguar green and navy are the most popular) and material (nylon is harder wearing, but silk reputedly issues a lovelier thud under rain), you have only to choose your collar (gold or silver) and decide whether you would like your initials engraved (why not?). If the process sounds faintly enchanting, it is—also about as costly as an afternoon at the spa, and far more practical.

Take Advantage of Excellent Museum Canteens
Entry to museums in London is usually free, and for this reason the museum restaurants can be destinations in their own right. Good thing, too—on a gloomy day, you couldn’t wish for a more convenient circuit than lunch and an exhibition. Spring at Somerset House serves an Italian-influenced menu (Dorset crab tagliolini; grilled peaches with prosciutto) from the prettiest dining room in Covent Garden: an airy, 19th century space with blue muslin walls and chandeliers that look like bunches of white balloons. From October, Somerset House will be putting on a long-awaited retrospective of Charles M. Schulz and the Peanuts. A short taxi away at the Royal Academy of Arts, you can get overflowing plates of antipasti and homemade lemonade at the new Senate Room restaurant, before exploring an extensive permanent collection that spans from John Constable to Tracey Emin. One of the most lauded wine lists in London lives at the Rex Whistler Restaurant in the Tate Britain, a museum on the River Thames with the world’s largest collection of work by JMW Turner. The tables there are full of civil servants (the Houses of Parliament are just up the road) and publishing types from nearby Penguin Random House, ordering British dishes like Yorkshire lamb with mint potatoes, and pork terrine with gooseberry chutney.

Good tearooms abound as well. At the Victoria and Albert Museum, which is showing a hot-as-toast Frida Kahlo exhibition until November, you can book in for a Victorian afternoon tea with historic pastries. These include goodies like Mrs. Beeton’s Cucumber Sandwich (circa 1859) and Iced Orange Cake with Almonds and Pistachios (1891). The atrium restaurant at the Wallace Collection is a double-story, light-filled space with millennial pink walls and potted trees—a serene setting for a few scones before exploring the 18th century house-turned-museum (don’t miss the extraordinary paintings of Venice in the Great Gallery). And at the British Museum, the only attraction that draws a bigger crowd than the Rosetta Stone is the sleek Great Court Restaurant, which dishes out homemade wedges of carrot and walnut cake on green Burleigh china. If you forget to book, there are a handful of cafes tucked around the museum that can serve you the same slice on humbler crockery.

Learn to Make a Traditional Beef Wellington
A mainstay of British holiday tables and striving Sunday lunches, Beef Wellington is a showy centerpiece of fillet wrapped in pastry with a thousand riffs—parma ham, foie gras, and truffles are all common additions. At the Savoy Grill on the Strand, which has been serving guests since the late 19th century, you can sign up for a private lesson to learn to make their classic version: an elegant roll of beef, minced mushrooms and herbs, crepes, and latticed puff pastry. After a couple of glasses of champagne at the bar, you’ll be taken to your station in the restaurant kitchen, surrounded by staff preparing for the lunch service. Here you’ll receive instructions about how to sear the fillet, flip the crepes, and whip the mushroom mousse before furling the ingredients together into a tidy log and brushing it over with an egg wash. Then you’ll swat the flour off of your trousers and head into the art deco-style dining room for a four-course lunch, in which your “welly” is the main event. Behold: the most refined cooking school in creation.

Spend Entire Evenings at the National Theatre
A beloved and deeply ugly 1970s icon south of the Thames, once described by a director as “a mixture of Gatwick airport and Brent Cross shopping centre,” the National Theatre stages over twenty productions a year. There are three theaters within the compound and a commitment to audience access—no play, no matter how popular, is ever allowed to completely sell out, and over 30 percent of tickets sold cost under £20. It’s great news for visitors making plans on the fly; a block of same-day seats are set aside for every performance, so you can turn up at the box office in the morning and walk away with your evening plans organized. Two productions packing the stalls at the moment are The Lehman Trilogy, a three-hour epic about the history of Lehman Brothers that’s on until the end of October, and Home, I’m Darling, a cringing, riveting comedy in which a modern 30-something woman gives up her job in order to become a 1950s-style housewife (it’s unmissable and wraps in September, so step lively).

There are several good supper options on site, saving you a wet hustle down the Thames Path. House Restaurant serves contemporary British cooking and surprisingly excellent vegan dishes (look for the ravioli with porcinis and cashew cheese). A handful of tables have views of the river, and staff are practiced at getting their guests fed in time for curtain up; everyone will be out the door by 7:29. At Terrace Restaurant, you’ll find Italian small plates (zucchini fritti, cured meats) alongside a well-edited wine list, and a more leisurely crowd. Some people are here for performances, some for the olive croquettes, and some, probably, to get out of the rain.

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