In the throes of the #MeToo movement, a lot of men are claiming confusion about what is and isn’t appropriate to say and do at work anymore. Should it be helpful for all of the poor, struggling men in the workforce right now, at least one definitive rule of thumb has emerged this holiday season: Do not, under any circumstances, gift your female colleagues a vibrator.
While one would think this is self-evident, it apparently bears repeating for Matt Lauer—who allegedly gave a female staffer a sex toy (including, according to Variety, an “explicit note about how he wanted to use it on her”)—and former NFL player turned NFL Network commentator Warren Sapp, who reportedly gifted vibrators to former wardrobe stylist Jami Cantor for three consecutive years, according to the sexual harassment lawsuit she filed this week against NFL Enterprises, which operates the network. In addition to misconduct by other employees, Cantor alleged Sapp also showed her nude photos of women he claimed to have slept with and otherwise talked openly about his sex life at work.
Sapp denied that he sexually harassed Cantor in a radio interview this week, most recently tweeting the hashtag: #NotMeToo. But he did, in fact, admit to giving sex toys as gifts “for the makeup ladies,” saying in his defense that they “weren’t about sex” and that he thought they were “cute”. In a move that likely did not please his lawyer, Sapp tweeted a photo of the toy in question, which upon a quick Google search appears to be a $170 lipstick-shaped clitoral stimulator by a company called Womanizer (truly, you can’t make this up).
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For those confused men anguishing over whether or not they’re allowed to hug their female colleagues, or compliment their taste in clothes or their spiffy new haircuts, a few helpful tips: When is it okay to give women you work with a gift whose item description includes the phrase “mind-blowing orgasm”? Never. Are there any sex toys that would qualify as “cute” for the office White Elephant? No—and especially not coming from a male colleague. What should you do if you somehow find yourself adding a $170 lipstick-shaped vibrator to your shopping cart? Stop immediately and report to the nearest Sephora for a gift card. Any questions?